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Found in mailbox...

Entertainment worth a little consideration
text An ordinary day in Oval Office
Your job is safe as long as ...
Getting over 100% productivity
European Union official language
En-Sk phrases and sayings
A serious test, finally!
pictures Deparment of mathematics
The Pythagoras's theorem decoded
Mathematical induction
The proof of global warming
Nice presents from uncle Bill
Before you ask dumb questions
Brain-twisters
text Square
Igniter cord stopwatch
Balance and 3 measurings
3 men and 5 hats
javascript Adrenalin game - 2D dodging


Found in mailbox ... texts and pictures

An ordinary day in Oval Office

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Your job is safe as long as these guys are out there

ONE:

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right," he said. So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO:

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today. She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE:

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR:

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered passing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE:

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX:

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

SEVEN:

Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Getting over 100% productivity

European Union official language

En-Sk phrases and sayings

A serious test, finally!

Finally a test, that is worth puting to ... instant and faithful results!!!

TEST - know yourself:

1. Are you pretty ?
yes - 1 point
no - 0 points

2. Are you smart ?
ano - 1 point
nie - 0 points

EVALUATION:

2 points: you are pretty and smart
1 point : you are either pretty or smart
0 points: you are an ugly imbecile

Deparment of mathematics

You're on the 6th floor... DEPARTMENT OF MATHEMATICS
... just only in fairy tales there's the hell situated deep undeground :)

The Pythagoras's theorem decoded

Mathematical induction

The proof of global warming

Nice presents from uncle Bill

"He is saying that he's brought nice presents."

Before you ask dumb questions

Square

Assignment

Join all the points with a three-times-broken line (i.e. 4 consequent straight lines)..

Igniter cord stopwatch

We've got 2 igniter cords, both have exactly one hour burning duration. However, they are not homogenous, which means that - for example - half of the cord need not burn down in half an hour.
Our job is to time 45 minutes with the two cords and a lighter.

Balance and 3 measurings

May we have 12 seemingly identical coins, one of which, however, has different weight than the others.
The point is in finding the differing coin, if we can use the balance only 3 times.

3 men and 5 hats

In a room with no mirrors there are three men and five hats - 3 black and 2 white. When the light is turned off, every man is randomly put 1 hat on his head, getting the two reamining hats hidden from sight. After the light is turned on, they are to figure out, what colour do they have hats of. (Each can see only the other two men.) After a minute one of them is anouncing that all of them are wearing black hat.
The answer is correct. How has he come to the conclusion?